you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
