So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize