just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
