I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
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and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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