Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
