hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
