he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
