Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
