it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
