I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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