this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
