Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize