I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize