First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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