Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
