Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
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hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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