Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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