Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
