Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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