In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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