I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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