She's JV to your varsity
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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