she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize