i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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