It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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