i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
