just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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