there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize