all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
