I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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