please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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