I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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