I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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