god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Text me some of your sweat
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