I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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