You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
