Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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