She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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