your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
