you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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