Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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