When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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