two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize