I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
