literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Houston, we have a blender
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
