If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
