You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
