he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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