i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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