this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize