i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
love makes seman taste better
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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