He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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