who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
