i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
