drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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