I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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