i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
