hell yes lets make some ravioli
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
