I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
