so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize