I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
