i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
