Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
