My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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