capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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