what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
