I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
