: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
